Here’s what therapists want you to know about being politically active

You can do anything, but not everything.

With everything going on in the United States, chances are you’ve been working to stay informed, and maybe even help out in some ways — both of which can take a lot of mental energy.

That might mean going to protests, rallies, and marches, getting involved in local efforts, spending a lot of time on the phone with your representatives, or even just staying up on the constant onslaught of news developments. With SO MUCH going on, it’s easy to get burnt out.

The truth is, though, you’re at your most helpful and effective when you know your limits. So, to help you maintain your mental health while being politically active, BuzzFeed Health talked to the following experts:

Here’s what they want you to keep in mind.

1. First, your main goal is to find the balance between taking action and taking enough care of yourself that you’re actually able to work effectively.

You can make a difference, yes, but one person can’t do everything at once. So plan to pace yourself and be in it for the long run.

"It’s not as if, if you don’t do something today and every day, you’ll lose the window of opportunity," says Rashad. "People really get swept up in the momentum, and wanting to do something immediately to counter the feeling of hopelessness and powerlessness. However, it’s not sustainable. It’s like if you’re a runner and enjoy the runner’s high — eventually you’re going to have to rest and sit out a day so your muscles can recover."

So, start learning the answers to these questions: How can you recuperate? What safeguards can you put in place to make this work sustainable in the long run? How can remind yourself of why this is important?

2. On that note, recognize that self-care doesn’t have to be indulgent and superfluous. Think of it as securing your own oxygen mask before you assist others.

If you can’t get on board with doing it for your sake, Bonior says to think about it this way: "Who would you rather have fighting a battle for you: someone who’s completely demoralized, under-slept, fatigued, not eating well, and stressed to the max [or] someone who is energized and clear-eyed? So if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for the fact that you will absolutely be a better fighter if you take care of yourself."

Self-care looks different for everyone and is never about one specific action — think about it as an ongoing commitment to looking after yourself and making time for things that rejuvenate you. That said, it for sure involves getting enough sleep, eating healthfully, and making sure you have a strong support system around you. But it also might mean carving out time by yourself to decompress with Netflix, play with dogs, go outside for fresh air, or do anything else that makes your heart feel a little lighter.

3. If you get overwhelmed thinking about what to prioritize, consider where you can actually be most helpful.

If you try to decide what’s most important to you or what cause is most urgent, you’ll probably wind up running in circles — because, well, a LOT of things are urgent and important. You likely also care about multiple causes, and it’s not easy to rank them against one another.

So, instead, be honest with yourself about what skills you have and the opportunities that there are to help in your area. Are you most comfortable making calls? Are you good at creative efforts to raise awareness? Are you in a place to donate? It might even come down to something as simple as choosing a place to volunteer that’s closest to your apartment, so it’s easier to go more often.

"It’s knowing where you feel like you’ll have the greater impact within your own small circle of influence," says Rashad.

4. Make specific to-do lists so you can concentrate your energy in productive bursts rather than always worrying about what needs to get done.

As with any goal, you need to pick specific, reasonable, and actionable steps, otherwise you won’t get anything done. "It’s much more effective, especially for self-care and often for the movement, to be able to say, ‘OK, I’m going to spend 15 minutes a day acting on this in this way’ than to think and worry about it all day with little action," says Bonior.

If you’re not actively involved in a group to help guide your to-do list, you can check out places like 5 Calls, which send out daily digests of actions you can take.

5. Set boundaries about how and when you keep up with the news.

Pretty much the easiest way to stress yourself out right now is keeping up-to-date on everything that’s happening in the news. Obviously, being informed is important and unplugging for even a few hours at a time can feel like burying your head in the sand, but setting up some rules so you’re not constantly exposed to bad, stressful, and even potentially traumatic news is crucial, says Bonior.

What works and is actually realistic will be different for everyone, but Bonior says there are a few ways to think about it:

These are only a few suggestions, but you get the idea.

6. On the flip side, avoid news, media, and people who are genuinely hurtful to your well-being.

DON’T HATE-READ. It can be so tempting to read comments from trolls, to scroll through that one guy from high school’s Facebook because you can’t believe he’s so bigoted, or to click the link from a radical news site that your friend sent over in disbelief. But 99.9% of the time, it’s not productive and it’s not worth the cost of your mental health.

"It’s important to recognize that a lot of media and news out there can be hurtful and might not necessarily add to your understanding of an issue," says Williams. This is especially true for marginalized or stigmatized groups right now.

"As a person of color, for example, there are a lot of things being said that we would call microaggressions. I know that I can only deal with so many microaggressions in one day, so I have to pace myself if I’m going to be productive and sane and have a good sense of well-being."

7. Remind yourself that it’s OK if your strong emotions die down — in fact, you need to let them.

When bad things happen around you, you might find yourself feeling guilty for the moments you feel good — almost like you’re normalizing negative events when you’re not actively sitting in your anger and disgust. But that’s not the case.

"No one can stay in a state of emotional and physiological arousal indefinitely without burning out," says Williams. "Your body is eventually going to come back down and you may feel complacent at times and that’s OK. If these things are really cherished values, they’re not just going to go away while you think about other things."

8. Keep your expectations realistic and don’t rely on immediate results to feel like your work is worthwhile.

There might be times when you see that an action you took led to a change — like when Uber CEO Travis Kalanick left President Trump’s economic advisory council after #DeleteUber went viral with customer backlash — but these instances are rare, says Rashad.

"For the most part, activism doesn’t offer immediate gratification," she says. "And if things aren’t moving at a speed with which you feel content with, it’s very easy to feel impatient and frustrated."

Without that instant gratification to keep you going, it’s really important to always be having conversations about self-care, mental well-being, and the impact of the work you’re doing. Otherwise, you might become cynical, apathetic, and resentful toward the work and the people you’re doing it with, says Rashad.

9. If this is your first time getting involved in politics in a big way, ease in and focus on educating yourself.

For a lot of people — particularly those who were unaware or unaffected by these particular issues — this is going to be the first time they’ve felt compelled to participate in activism. If that’s the case for you, be aware that you’re not going to know everything, and that it’s OK.

"See yourself as a baby," says Rashad. "Would you expect that baby to run a marathon? No. You start with crawling, then taking your first few steps. So be mindful of taking a stance of humility, be patient with yourself, and expect to make mistakes."

That’s not to say you can’t get involved — you should! Look to the people who have been doing this longer for advice on where and how you can be most helpful. Ask questions! That way you won’t burn yourself out going to every protest and rally that comes through your Facebook invitations.

10. Know the signs of burnout — and step back if you’re experiencing them.

Sometimes you just need a break. Look out for changes in your physical health (are you getting sick more often?), your sleeping and eating patterns, your relationships (have you stopped hanging out with friends or found yourself more irritable around them?), and so on. Also, keep an eye out for any depression and anxiety symptoms in general (you can learn more about those here and here).

Another good indicator of burnout is if you’re just feeling, well, defeated. "If you’re putting in the work and are starting to ask yourself, ‘Well, what’s the point?’ that, to me, is a sign you need to sit out, refresh, and remember why you’re doing this," says Rashad.

If any of that applies to you, don’t feel guilty about concentrating on yourself for a bit. "If you need to step away for awhile, don’t interpret that to mean that you don’t care," says Williams.

11. If you’re considering seeing a therapist, put in the effort to find one who gets it.

Therapy is never a bad idea, and if you’re someone dedicating a lot of mental energy to political activism, a therapist can be a great sounding board for putting things into perspective and a resource for strategies to help you cope with your emotions day to day, says Williams.

That said, not all therapists are equipped to deal with this kind of work (like the issues of marginalized and stigmatized groups) so shop around to find someone you connect well with. Some of that will be trial and error, but always feel free to ask prospective therapists lots of questions — not only about their backgrounds and approach to therapy, but also straight-up whether they feel equipped and open to talking about politics, activism, and issues that pertain to your ethnicity, race, religion, gender, sexuality, etc.

12. Learn to see positivity and playfulness as an act of resistance.

Hold on to the good things in your life and don’t put them on the back burner just because everything else might be demanding more attention.

"We give the opposition more power when we don’t play, when we don’t have fun, when we don’t find the joy and the happiness in life," says Rashad. "Because then, they’ve taken everything from us. Not only are maybe your rights and life threatened, but your very ability to smile and laugh are also threatened. So don’t give them that power. In the midst of all of this say, ‘I am still committed to playing and to lighter moments and to laughing and smiling and loving.’"

Here’s What Therapists Want You To Know About Being Politically Active


How a ‘grotty rundown pub’ became the UK’s best restaurant

The metropolitan elite are in for a bit of a shock when they start their inevitable stampede to the UK’s newly crowned No 1 restaurant, the Sportsman in Seasalter, Kent. Sure, there’s a windswept, barren beauty to the coast road from Whitstable, but this joint ain’t exactly a looker – even the Sportsman’s own Twitter account says it’s a "grotty rundown pub by the sea".

It’s not much better inside: old-school bar, mismatched wooden tables and chairs, simple blackboard menu. First-timers could be forgiven for heading back out to the car park and doublechecking the satnav.

Then again, chef/patron Stephen Harris isn’t your average star chef. In 1996, at the age of 34, this self-taught cook jacked in a lucrative career in finance for the slog of the professional kitchen, and three years later wound up here, down the road from his home town of Whitstable.

Harris is "gobsmacked" about topping the 2016 National Restaurant awards. "We’ve always done quite well in these sort of lists," he says, "but to be No 1 is something else."

It’s not as if they do anything that out of the ordinary, he insists: "We’re basically two restaurants in one: a pub with a dining room that also does a tasting menu. The tasting menu is all about terroirs, this area, but otherwise it’s the standard starter, main and pud deal." Which is just as well when your customers are as likely to be local fishermen and farmers at the bar as poncy foodies and chefs down from London.

That £45 tasting menu isn’t one to scare the horses, either, but rather a showcase for local produce. "I even make my own salt," Harris says, "but that’s more a hookline, a romantic gesture to Kent and the sea." His slipsole in seaweed butter, say, is both signature dish and modern classic, but it’s also one of the plainest plates of food you’ll ever see in a Michelin-starred restaurant: pearly-white slipsole brushed with green-flecked (homemade) butter on an otherwise pristine plate.

Plus, you get a day trip to the seaside into the bargain. Hell, lunch at the Sportsman is almost like going on holiday – and we could all do with one of those right now.

The Sportsman, near Whitstable in Kent, has topped the 2016 National Restaurant awards and its chef/patron is ‘gobsmacked’. So what’s on the menu?

From reading the article, I have no idea how. The chef/patron was "gobsmacked" about topping the best restaurant list, and he insists that "It’s not as if they do anything that out of the ordinary".


This 3-Year-Old's Mom Found Her Standing on Something, but the Reason Why Broke Her Heart

At first glance, a Michigan mother named Stacey Wehrman Feeley thought it was funny to see her 3-year-old daughter stand on a toilet at home:

Once Wehrman Feeley learned why her daughter was standing on the toilet, however, she was not in the mood to laugh. She took a picture of the moment and shared the devastating reason in a Facebook post that has since been shared more than 13,000 times:

"She was practicing for a lockdown drill at her preschool and what you should do if you are stuck in a bathroom," Wehrman Feeley wrote in a Facebook post published three days after the Orlando shooting. "At that moment all [innocence] of what I thought my 3-year-old possessed was gone."

"Politicians - take a look," Wehrman Feeley wrote. "This is your child, your children, your grandchildren, your great grandchildren, and future generations to come. They will live their lives and grow up in this world based on your decisions. They are barely 3 and they will hide in bathroom stalls standing on top of toilet seats. I do not know what will be harder for them? Trying to remain quiet for an extended amount of time or trying to keep their balance without letting a foot slip below the stall door?"

Wehrman Feeley argued the value of stricter background checks for purchasing guns, adding that Hollywood PSAs about gun safety are helpful but not enough to stop the problem of gun violence in our country.

"I am not pretending to have all the answers or even a shred of them, but unless you want your children standing on top of a toilet, we need to do something!" she wrote.

Wehrman Feeley shared this Facebook update last week, on the same day that Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn.) led a nearly 15-hour filibuster on gun safety. Five days later, the Senate voted against four gun safety proposals.

Girl Stands on Toilet Practice School Gun Safety Drill

Stacey Wehrman Feeley's image of her young daughter standing on a toilet as part of her school's gun safety drill is going viral and affecting many.

She Was Standing on a Toilet Practicing for a Lockdown Drill.


California city backs controversial plan to help underwater borrowers

RICHMOND, Calif, Sept 11 - Richmond, California's leaders approved on Wednesday morning a plan for the city to become the first in the nation to acquire mortgages with negative equity in a bid to keep local residents in their homes.

The power of 'eminent domain' allows governments to seize private property for a public purpose. Critics say the plan threatens the market for private-label mortgage-backed securities.

Richmond's city council voted 4 to 3 for Mayor Gayle McLaughlin's proposal for city staff to work more closely with Mortgage Resolution Partners to put the plan crafted by the investor group for the city to work.

Richmond can now invoke eminent domain if trusts for more than 620 delinquent and performing "underwater" mortgages reject offers made by the city to buy the loans at deep discount pegged to their properties' current appraised prices to refinance them and reduce their principal.

A mortgage is under water when its unpaid balance is greater than its property's market value.

MRP has failed to get similar plans approved by local governments elsewhere - most recently in North Las Vegas, Nevada and earlier this year in San Bernardino County in Southern California - as the mortgage industry and local real estate businesses rallied against them.

But in Richmond, MRP found an ally in a Wall Street-bashing Green Party mayor of one of the San Francisco region's poorest cities who sees working with the investor group to acquire mortgages as a public purpose if it makes the loans more affordable, averts foreclosures and alleviates blight.

Richmond's residents have been "badly harmed by this housing crisis," McLaughlin said, defending the plan and partnership with MRP during an often contentious city council meeting that began Tuesday evening and ended early Wednesday morning. "Too many have already lost their homes."

City council members opposed to the plan countered that using eminent domain would put Richmond at risk of expensive lawsuits that could destroy the city's finances.

"A 1 percent chance of bankruptcy from this program is a deal-breaker for me," Councilman Jim Rogers told a crowd of about 300 people at the meeting, moved to a city auditorium from the council's chamber.

Other council members warned of a backlash from financial institutions, noting Richmond had no takers last month when the successor to its redevelopment agency put $34 million of bonds up for sale to refinance previous debt. The eminent domain plan had been disclosed to the U.S. municipal bond market.

While housing advocates urged support for the plan, realtor Jeffrey Wright warned that going through with eminent domain could prompt a clampdown in mortgage lending in Richmond or push up mortgage interest rates in the city of about 104,000 residents.

Responding to the plan, the Federal Housing Finance Agency recently said it would press Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to limit or cease its business where such proposals get approved, effectively closing off most mortgage financing there.

Investors holding the mortgages targeted by Richmond dispute altruism motivates the plan and charge the city would lend its eminent domain power to San Francisco-based MRP to split profits from refinancings.

The investors have sued through trustees Wells Fargo & Co and Deutsche Bank AG in U.S. District Court to block the plan, which they say relies on them swallowing losses. The two sides square off in court in person for the first time on Thursday.

McLaughlin's proposal directs city staff to work with other local governments interested in the plan, calls for city staff and MRP to resolve its legal issues and confirms the city council would hold votes to seize mortgages by eminent domain if necessary. That would require a supermajority vote of the council.

Richmond, California Backs Plan To Use Eminent Domain To Help Underwater Borrowers

RICHMOND, Calif, Sept 11 - Richmond, California's leaders approved on Wednesday morning a plan for the city to become the first in the nation t...

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Men Attack Pizza Guy, Don't Recognize Him Until It's Too Late

Little did the four thugs in Illinois realize who they were messing with when they decided to attack the Beggars Pizza delivery guy on Sept. 6.

After ordering the food last minute, the four men planned to steal the pizza and assault someone they likely assumed would be a scrawny, young delivery man, Mad World News reports.

But luck was not on their side that day.

It turned out that all the regular drivers had already gone home, so the shop owner decided to deliver the pizzas himself, The Chicago Tribune reports.

Walking towards the door, three of the men jumped out to attack the man only to receive the shock of their lives.

Instead of some small, teenage delivery boy, they met 6-foot-3, 250-pound former NFL linebacker — now state senator and business owner — Napoleon Harris.

They were no match for the man. Although they weren’t able to hurt Harris, they did manage to run off with his wallet, but not for long.

While driving after them, Harris called the police and chased the assailants into a lumberyard where they were forced to flee on foot.

By that point, however, cops were already well on their way.

With Harris’ help, police managed to catch up with three of the suspects and arrest them. They are currently searching for the fourth suspect, who is believed to be hiding in Indiana.

"We haven’t filed charges yet, but we’re going to," police spokesman Sean Howard said.

It turns out theft wasn’t the only crime these thugs may have been guilty of. After the suspects ran away and left their Chevy Tahoe alone, authorities investigated and realized the car had blood on it.

The vehicle was stolen and belonged to Lester "Roy" Jones, whom authorities found dead in Georgia.

So not only did the senator and former football player, Harris, help catch thieves, he may have also helped track down murderers. Not bad for a pizza "delivery man’s" one night on the job.

But Harris is just glad the rest of his staff is safe.

"[Harris] feels he was better capable of handling this incident than they would have been," said Howard. "They were expecting a scrawny 5-foot-9 guy, and got Harris instead."

Men Attack Pizza Guy, Don’t Recognize Him Until It’s Too Late (Photos)

It was store owner/state senator/former NFL Linebacker Napoleon Harris


Marvel's New Iron Man Is NOT Who You'd Expect

(Warning: The following contains plot details from recent and forthcoming Marvel Comics releases, including the introduction of a fairly major new status quo for a major Marvel character. Proceed with whatever level of caution your robot butler suggests is wise...)

Now, in an era in which Sam 'The Falcon' Wilson is Captain America, Jane 'played by Natalie Portman in the movies' Foster is Thor, and there are about seventeen different Spider-Men/Women swinging around, it was only a matter of time before Marvel Comics' biggest asset - Iron Man - was on the receiving end of some major changes in the comic-books too.

(Note: This is where those aforementioned major SPOILERS really start to kick in...)

Y'see, with Pepper Potts having already done the whole 'Rescue' thing, and James 'War Machine' Rhodes having recently been killed, the two most obvious successors to Iron Man's armored crown weren't really available - and yet, in the wake of Civil War II, Iron Man's comic-book scribe Brian Michael Bendis had been charged with bringing in a replacement for Tony Stark, all the same.

And so, in classic Bendis-ian fashion (he's also the creator of fan-favorites and at-the-time-unusual heroes Miles Morales and Jessica Jones), he came up with a gloriously outside the box solution. Y'see:

The New Iron Man Is A 15-Year-Old Woman Named Riri Williams

Who, it seems - having already been introduced in the current Invincible Iron Man series - will be taking the lead when that comic-book is relaunched this fall. Which, seeing as Williams built her own damn armor in her dorm room at MIT, seems a hell of a lot more of a deserved hiring than, say, just getting one of Tony's buddies to jump in the suit.

Which, of course, isn't to say that it won't be a little... controversial. As Bendis himself argued in a recent interview with Time, though:

"Thankfully because of my involvement in the creation of Miles Morales and Jessica Jones and some other characters, it’s getting the benefit of the doubt from even the most surly fans. There are fans who say, 'Show us the new stuff,' and then there are fans who say, 'Don’t do anything different from when I was a kid.' So when you’re introducing new characters, you’re always going to have people getting paranoid about us ruining their childhood."

Which, while hopefully the case, might just turn out to be a little overly optimistic - especially if Civil War II leaves Tony Stark in a place few fans want to see him: deceased. Thankfully for Stark fans, though, it sounds as though the ascendance of Ms. Williams doesn't mean we know what to expect from Civil War II's finale just yet. Quoth Bendis:

"More people are going to be upset that they think they know the ending to Civil War II now than anything... But I can tell you just because we’re hearing what we’re saying doesn’t know you mean how Civil War II ends. We’re not telling you the end, at all."

So, there's still hope for a Tony Stark/Riri Williams team-up in the near future, then - and, just maybe, a potential plot-line for Iron Man 4?

Poll Are you excited to see Riri Williams don the armor? YUP. Sounds good to me!

NOPE. Tony Stark is the one true Iron Man!

SURE. Let's see where Marvel goes with this...

Marvel Comics has unveiled a brand new Iron Man - and it's very much not who you'd think. Folks, meet Riri Williams... your new Iron Man.

It's a 15-year-old girl named Riri Williams
#StopClickBait


Melissa McCarthy, 45, has lost over 70 pounds, according to some reports, and she looks happier and healthier than ever! We loved her gorgeous pink dress at the ELLE Women In Comedy party on June 7. Melissa is on one of four ELLE covers for their July issue, alongside her Ghostbusters co-stars Kate McKinnon , 32, Kristen Wiig , 42, Leslie Jones , 48. At the event celebrating the women, she looked so pretty in pink, showing off her weight loss and a mega-watt smile. Melissa has said in the past that a high protein, low carb diet help her shed the pounds.

"No trick, nothing to tell, just super boring life. You bring it real down, you don’t do anything fun and you go to bed at 7:30 — that’s the trick," Melissa told Extra . She also says that putting less pressure on herself has paid off. Melissa actually has her very own plus-size clothing line. We think Melissa looks great at any size, and we hope she is happy and confident with her new body!

Melissa McCarthy Says Her Goodbyes to The World! – Respectable Virtues

Sensationalist title implies she is dying, when in fact she lost over 70 lbs.


Baby Died Minutes After Daycare Worker Put Him In Car Seat For A Nap. I Had NO IDEA This Was Possible!

11-week-old Shepard Dodd died tragically after being put in his infant car seat. The death was an accident but it actually happens much more often than it should. Now, Shepard’s parents are determined to make sure this tragedy doesn’t happen to any other baby.

The little boy was in the home of his licensed daycare provider. At nap time, he was swaddled and placed in his car seat. Since Shepard had a runny nose and little congestion, the daycare provider thought he would sleep better in the upright position the car seat provided.

Since he wasn’t in a moving vehicle, the straps were left unbuckled and off of him. The baby fell asleep, and his head fell down in a chin-to-chest position, which closed his airways. Because he was so young, he didn’t have strenght in his neck muscles to move his head, and he died of asphyxiation.

His parents are taking his story to the media to prevent other babies from this horrible death.

What happened to Shepard is called positional asphyxiation. Babies don’t have the neck muscles to keep their heads upright, so if they are not properly buckled into a rocker or a car seat, their chin can freely fall on their chests and cut off air supply. Car seats are designed to protect children as they are traveling in a car, but they can actually prove a danger if infants aren’t properly strapped in and supervised.

Ali and Derek Dodd are now lobbying the Oklahoma state legislature to introduce new safe sleep standards for babies, as well as warning parents about the dangers of positional asphyxiation. But we should all take note of this from now on.

Ali and Derek Dodd are raising awareness in hopes this never happens to another child.

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The baby died of positional asphyxiation


My daughter’s death made me do something terrible on Facebook

How to sum up my 19-year-old daughter, Rosa? A "free spirit", a "one-off", "a character", "she lit up a room". These were the phrases most frequently used in remembering her after she drowned, following a seizure while she swam on a warm July morning in 2008.

She was indeed a one-off. Fun, irreverent, stubborn, uncontainable, loving, garrulous, challenging, ingenuous. She could be moody and withdrawn, too, but she always said exactly what she thought – sometimes to my acute embarrassment when she revealed things I had voiced in private that I didn’t want repeated. The doctors attributed her "disinhibited" behaviour to the way her brain was wired because of her epilepsy. She never thought: "Oh, I’d better not say that," she just came out with it.

Eight years after her death, I ask Adam round. He was the boy Rosa loved while they studied at university in the 10 months before she died. They met on a dancefloor after the first day of term and had been planning to live together in the next academic year.

Now Adam sits opposite me. His asymmetrical haircut has been replaced by a shorter one, his features have matured and his gaucheness has gone, but it is still long, lean Adam with his puckish face and northern inflections. He plays me a trio of films he made of Rosa during that student year – skating, mucking around with friends, out at an amusement park. They were films we had never seen, and which my husband, Andrew, still finds too difficult to watch. "How can you look at them?" he asks me. It is because I need to uncover, to know.

As Adam and I talk, it is painful to learn about the things Rosa hadn’t told me, and to see how she behaved when she thought her mother wasn’t watching. And it is hard to listen to Adam recollect how he became involved with Lucie six months after Rosa died. Lucie is the girl with whom he is now travelling the world. But I don’t want to avoid hearing. I want to know everything.

I set out lunch; there is a pause as we begin eating. Then I find myself apologising for a truly bad thing I did when Lucie and Adam got together.

"I’m so sorry, you know, about that terrible thing I did."

Adam nods. He knows exactly to what I am referring.

I try to explain. "I had these moments when I thought I would go insane with the grief of it all. It was overwhelming. The problem with grief is that you are in that moment when the other bereaved person – or someone else – isn’t in the moment. It’s very hard to find the times when you can talk about it and be supported and supportive. Andrew and I ..."

"What are these?" Adam interrupts, pointing to the various dips I have placed on the kitchen table. Would he rather I didn’t talk about this any more?

"... Andrew and I found it hard to share times when we could be supportive of each other. So I would have these private moments when I would be a bit obsessive and sit and watch that little film you made on holiday of Rosa in a bikini mixing a cocktail, or I would go on Facebook, rather manically, because I still had her login details. They were registered on my computer at home and it was logged in all the time. I would go to my computer and look, pathetically, at what her friends were doing, hoping they had left a message saying they missed her. It was a way of connecting with her, of still being part of ongoing lives associated with her."

I was on Rosa’s Facebook page when I saw a conversation between Adam and Lucie that made it clear they were in a serious, loving relationship. It was six months after Rosa had died. I instantly felt the most unimaginable pain, as if my daughter’s life had meant nothing, as if she had already been replaced.

With the grief came overwhelming rage, the "It should have been her" scream. Before I thought through what I was doing, I had posted: "Don’t you think it’s a bit soon to fall in love again?" on the stream of their conversation and pressed "Done" or "Send" or whatever it is.

Immediately, I panicked. I knew it would come through to Adam as a message from Rosa, his dead girlfriend, with a photo of her attached. But I was frozen in front of my computer. I seemed incapable of doing anything to put it right. After a sleepless night, I sent Adam a text. "I’m so, so sorry, I’m so ashamed."

He was understandably furious and upset. "That was terrible. You don’t know what I’ve been through," he texted back. I kept apologising because I was truly, deeply sorry and ashamed.

"I shouldn’t have been looking at your private messages. But I was in this weird state of needing a connection with Rosa and, seeing what I saw ... the grief was overwhelming ... it felt as if everyone was moving on and I was stuck. Iit was like: ‘Rosa is gone, I want everyone still to be grieving for her.’"

Then I tell him how I hadn’t slept that night, imagining him getting this message out of the blue – from Rosa. Adam hasn’t said anything yet. "I felt dizzy," I continue, "and physically sick. And mortified. But it took me hours to pluck up the courage to confess and say how sorry I was. It was like when you have done something terrible when you are little and not being able to tell your parents. It was awful, and I can’t imagine how terrible that must have been for you."

"... I’m not religious; I don’t believe in anything superstitious. I can understand why some people believe in it, but I’m from a science background; those sort of things don’t make sense to me. And then that happened and I was ..."

He pauses. "It was almost like someone had found out something you never wanted them to know, and now the world knows. A wave of fear came over me; I kept thinking: ‘I don’t understand how this could have happened.’ There was no logical answer for it. I felt so sick."

He then tells me it made him question the relationship. He suddenly felt really guilty about meeting Lucie.

I am repentant, contrite. Chastened. It is my turn to be silent.

"I remember just not knowing what to do?" He throws this out like a question.

"No, no, I didn’t tell anyone for a while. I didn’t sleep that night either. It brought everything back."

"So, at what point did you think it must have been mad Vanessa? Did you think: ‘Oh, that bitch of a mother!’"

"No, I didn’t know it was you. It could have been Andrew, [Rosa’s sister] Ellie, you ..."

I interrupt. "Andrew or Ellie would never do anything like that. And, looking back, it is incomprehensible that I would do that to you. It shows what forms grief can take. I had told you to move on with your life, but I couldn’t bear it when you did. I tell people this story. It’s almost like a confessional; I have to test my friends: ‘I’m going to tell you something I did that was so awful, will you still be my friend?’"

"There was no need to hold it against you. I know you were upset."

"I think I felt you didn’t love Rosa any more because you had transferred your love to someone else."

Adam smiles. "You’d done a Rosa! You jumped in without thinking of the consequences. That’s where she got it from!" Adam laughs. I join in, but then I become more thoughtful.

"I do share the recklessness that Rosa had. When I write, I need to say things that maybe I shouldn’t share. But at some level I don’t want to be sensible and careful – I want people to know how it feels."

Yes, I want to bring them up from the basement. Expose, remind, confront. It is risky.

Adam is quiet now. We have come to the end of that part of the conversation. I hope he has truly forgiven me.

The Truth Game by Vanessa Nicolson is published by Quartet, £15. To order a copy for £12.75, go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p on orders of more than £10, online only. Phone orders min p&p of £1.99.

Overcome with grief when her 19-year-old daughter died, Vanessa Nicolson sent a message to her daughter’s boyfriend that she regretted immediately. Eight years later, she invited him round to explain

Family,Life and style,Death and dying,Bereavement,Relationships,Facebook,Social networking


Donald Trump is causing a yarn shortage in the United States, where many Americans just can't get their hands on worsted fuschia pink - because many of the world's knitters are using it to protest against the incoming president.

When Donald Trump wakes up in the White House for the first time, he'll be facing the first major protest of his administration.

And a global group of loose-knit activists want to make sure that when he looks out at the Women's March on Washington, he sees thousands of bright pink "pussyhats".

The brightly coloured wool hats - complete with cat ears - aren't just going to keep ears warm.

The name - pussyhats - references Donald Trump's controversial 2005 comments, when he said "you can do anything" to women - including "grab them by the pussy".

The pussyhat project launched in November, with the goal of knitting a hat for every single marcher in Saturday's protest - one at a time.

"Knitting circles are sometimes scoffed at as frivolous 'gossiping circles' when really, these circles are powerful gatherings," the founders - Krista Suh and Jayna Zweiman - wrote in their mission statement.

Knitting and handicrafts have a long history in protesting, but the pussyhat project has already been particularly successful.

They've received thousands of hats from all over the globe - from as far away as Britain, Austria, and Japan. Many are learning to knit for the first time, just to take part.

The project has caught the imagination of people all over the world - but "craftivism" isn't a new idea.

In Canada, there's the Revolutionary Knitting Circle, which first made headlines for their protest at the 2002 G8 summit. Australia has the Knitting Nannas, who protest about environmental issues by holding "knit-ins".

In the UK, activists from Wool Against Weapons knitted a seven-mile-long pink "peace scarf" to protest against the country's Trident nuclear weapon programme. Then, a year later, they repurposed it into thousands of blankets for those in need in warzones and developing nations.

But down in Chile, it's the hombres tejedores (knitting men) who break down stereotypes and teach other men to embrace the creative hobby.

And in cities across the world, "yarn bombing" reclaims urban spaces with a pair of needles, covering everyday items in brightly coloured knits. Like other forms of graffiti, yarn bombing can convey a message of protest - or it can just be street art for the sake of art.

Knitting for change is a global activity.

In the 1980s, anti-nuclear protesters in Britain - mainly women - set up a peace camp at Greenham Common, and turned an air force fence into a work of art with their knitting and material crafts.

In fact, knitting's association with political dissent goes back hundreds of years - to the grim days of the the French revolution.

Women known as les tricoteuses (knitting women) famously sat by the guillotine in Paris during the "reign of terror" - and were later immortalised by Charles Dickens in the sinister character of Madame Defarge in A Tale of Two Cities.

They would watch the executions calmly - knitting the symbolic red "liberty cap" between deaths, according to some stories. Those bonnets rouges are a symbol still worn by the figure of Marianne, the embodiment of France.

The United States adopted that patriotic-yet-productive spirit during its own revolution, when women knitted clothing for soldiers during the war of independence - a wartime tradition that continued into the twentieth century.

But craftivism has come a long way, and is more likely to be hot pink than blood red.

Today, Instagram and Twitter are awash with tens of thousands of #pussyhatproject posts.

Punk icon Patti Smith, comedian Amy Schumer, and actress Krysten Ritter have all been seen wearing the recognisable shape, and the hosts of US television programme The View closed Wednesday's show wearing them.

The response, one workshop organiser says, has been overwhelming.

Diana Kane, a feminist and boutique owner in New York, started making and selling the hats for those who don't knit themselves - with the proceeds going towards a pro-choice political fund.

"We hit capacity a week ago - all volunteer labour," she said. "I've been turning people away for days."

"I think women have been able to channel their frustration and anger into something communal, creative and productive. It feels good.

"And it's given women who otherwise won't be able to participate in the marches a way to contribute and voice their anger."

It's not yet clear just how many people will attend the Women's March on Washington - perhaps as many as 200,000. The Washington DC metro is opening early and putting extra trains on to cope with demand, and hundreds of buses have registered to park in the city.

It will certainly be a large demonstration - but at least there'll be a warm hat for every marcher, and a country's supply of pink wool on show.

'Pussyhat' knitters join long tradition of crafty activism

Donald Trump has caused a shortage of pink yarn - continuing a history of knitters' activism.


You’ll Never Believe What This Lazy Puppy Does When His Owner Tries To Wake Him Up!

Naps are appreciated by humans and dogs alike. How could they not be? A quiet, lazy chance to catch up on some sleep. Ahhhh. Nothin’ else like it. Waking up from a nap, though, is often the worst part of that whole restful experience. No one knows this better than Thor, the Great Dane puppy whose owner is insisting he gets up from bed, where he’s apparently been sleeping all day long. Watch this cute pup fight back with hilarious groans and whines that sound a lot like many teenagers in the same situation...

We applaud your persistence, Thor! Looks like you might have gotten the last laugh...or, ya know, puppy yawn.

Grumbles and complains while rolling around on the bed. #StopClickBait
Video in comments!


Why being 'really into Asian chicks' is not okay

Being 'really into asians' can be based on offensive stereotypes, some women say. (Getty Images)

White guys who say they're into 'Asian chicks' might think they're super progressive, but some Asian women disagree – strongly.

Being ‘into Asian chicks’ is a preference many guys don’t seem to have a problem expressing, with some even wearing it as a badge of pride.

It’s a trend that has become so widespread it’s got it’s own slang term: ‘yellow fever.’

But while many see no issue with it, more than a few Asian women find it deeply frustrating.

In a recent article titled ‘I hope you die from yellow fever’, Caressa Wong pulls no punches.

Like many other Asian women, Wong is sick of pickup lines which zero-in on race.

"The most disgusting set of phrases you could ever utter to me are ‘I love Asians,’ ‘I’m only attracted to Asians,’ ‘I had an Asian girlfriend once,’ or any other variant really," they write. "If you’ve gotten to a point where all your suitors are coming at you because they’ve decided to stuff you into their ‘little Asian wife’ box, then it starts to hurt. A lot."

"Asian women are people, and they’re not for your consumption" – Caressa Wong

"I’m Chinese, and if you think that dating, say, a Korean or Filipino person somehow ‘qualifies’ you to be my significant other, then you really have to pay more attention to anything you might’ve learned while being with that person at all," Wong writes.

For Asian women, the apparent attraction to their background can often be based on stereotypes which can be both racist and sexist.

Internet chat rooms are full of often-offensive discussions about just what makes 'Asian women' so desirable for men – from being good with money to being good in bed.

"There are three things Asian mothers hate: shoes on in house, checking their blind spot and chubby daughters," one online commenter on Reddit theorised. "Asian fat shaming has single handedly saved generations of Asian women from the unf**kability epidemic experienced by Whites and especially Blacks."

Wong says that even less blatantly-offensive stereotypes are still hurtful.

"I understand that in the West, we have the disgusting narrative of the foreign Asian girl who acts as a catalyst for a white man’s spiritual journey — but, please, in real life they’re not here to grind on you under artsy pink lighting in an apartment in Japan," Wong writes. "They’re not going to lead you down busy Tokyo streets and smile enigmatically at you, and they’re not a plot device for your sick story."

"They’re not ‘real life anime characters’, and they’re not all ‘good little sheltered girls,’" Wong continues. "You’re not here to bring out this girl’s 'wild streak.'"

"Of course white people are capable of having good intentions and being innocuous, but there’s a part of me that’s been socially conditioned to question if they see me or just sees an Asian girl," Wong says.

Insight – Asian women speed-dating night

Mabel Kwong, an Asian Australian blogger in Melbourne, shares similar frustrations.

She says she’s used to having Caucasian Australian men hit on her by making an issue out of her background.

"We are more than just 'Asian' - while our heritage may play a part in the values that we upkeep, we also play many other roles in life that define us, just like the next person to us," Kwong tells SBS.

In a 2014 blog post she recounts one example of a guy coming on to her in a central Melbourne shopping-mall.

"I’m from Australia. Melbourne," she replied

"But...you know. You’re...Asian," he said.

"Of course I know. I am Asian. Chinese-Malaysian, to be exact. But I am also a person with a personality," she remembers thinking.

"These encounters are amusing and annoying," she says. "They give me the impression some Caucasian guys are attracted to me because of my ethnicity."

The Melbourne-based blogger says she gets the impression that some Western males see themselves as superior to Asian women, or view them as sex objects.

"It's a fact that many Asian women in Australia have the opportunity to attain a well-rounded education and are actively independent in the way they lead their lives. I am lucky to have had gone to university in Melbourne and today am able to support myself financially and lead my life according to my own choices," she says. "I don't feel like I need to bow down to another race."

She says that while everyone is entitled to their tastes and preferences, and there is nothing wrong with Asian women fitting a stereotype, being viewed solely as an 'Asian woman' can be frustrating.

"As Asian Australians, we’re more than just our heritage. We are Australian. We have lives in Australia. We’re familiar with shopping at Woolies, familiar with riding the trains and trams. We’re students, workers, parents, mentors and so much more every day in Australia," she says.

"That ‘somewhere’ we’re from is Australia. Multicultural Australia."

More on Dating Transgender and gender-nonconforming communities will be the focus for dating app Tinder, says CEO The CEO acknowledged that the app has failed to provide trans and gender non-conforming users with the same quality of experience as the app's cisgender users. Dating as a Muslim in Australia Navigating the dating game as a young Muslim in Australia can be hard, and hilarious. How online dating can help you confront deal breakers head-on Tales of failed dates and fleeting flings aside, if you’re being honest, online dating can lead to a lasting romance. What we can all learn from China’s biggest dating show Brutal honesty + a healthy dose of bravery = romantic success The art of dating other parents Got a newborn? Then you’ve inadvertently signed up for the informal speed dating merry-go-round known as ‘meeting other new parents you actually like’. But how do you do it when the failsafe option – your local mothers’ group – doesn’t pan out?

Face Up To Racism #FU2Racism with a season of stories and programs challenging preconceptions around race and prejudice. Tune in to watch Is Australia Racist? (airs on Sunday 26 February at 8.30pm), Date My Race (airs Monday 27 February at 8.30pm) and The Truth About Racism (airs Wednesday 1 March at 8.30pm). Watch all the documentaries online after they air on SBS On Demand.


This Commercial Was Only Allowed To Air Once... When You See It, You’ll Understand Immediately.

The Budweiser Clydesdales are an American institution. They’ve been around since 1935 when Budweiser received them as a gift to celebrate the end of alcohol prohibition. Since then, they’ve entered every American family’s home through their TV sets, especially during the Super Bowl.

Usually, Budweiser airs its Clydesdales commercials several times to make up for the huge cost of their production, but there is one commercial that was played on television only once. And when you see it, you’ll understand why.

It’s incredible to think that Budweiser used its budget for such an amazing commercial, only to air it once. What a touching tribute to the people who lost their lives in the 9/11 attacks.

This Emotional 9/11 Commercial Was Only Allowed To Air Once... And It’s Easy To See Why.

Budweiser only airs this commercial once at the Super Bowl right after 9/11.

The commercial gives tribute to NYC after 9/11, and the company didn't want to profit any further from it. #StopClickBait


1. June Kyra Dela Chica, who made the most amazing tribute to Mulan in her high school ID.

2. After being asked by a boy to send a pic of herself in the shower, 16-year-old Reese Herbert sent along this glorious umbrella shower pic.

3. Kris Costello, who took ~the most extra~ senior photos ever.

4. The tall teen who had special biz cards made so that he could stop hearing the saaaaame questions over and over again.

5. This Dublin, Ohio, teen who couldn’t "trust any girls" so he decided to ask himself to homecoming. SPOILER ALERT: He said yes!

6. These Ole Miss freshman who went the extra mile with their dorm room decorations.*

*Please come to my house and make it look like an adult lives there.

7. Teenage makeup artist Asia Brautigam, who tried to make "dick-liner" a thing.

8. Seventeen-year-old Kelvin Peña, who turned a wild deer into his best friend. The deer is named Money and the pair "play basketball together. We be lit out here. We love the woods."

9. Poor 15-year-old Darby Risner, who got her head stuck in a Barney the dinosaur head and COULDN’T GET IT OFF FOR 45 MINUTES.

10. High school senior Skyler Davis, who learned the hard way that crying and spray tans just don’t mix. This is Skyler ten minutes after leaving a spray tan salon (she got in a fight with her boyfriend). Eep.

11. Morgan Hanbery, whose makeup tutorials are REAL AF.

so here is my bullshit makeup tutorial that I couldn't stay serious in, if you actually watch this then I fw you💀💀💀

12. Seventeen-year-old Lizette Galvan, who convinced her poor boyfriend she shaved off her eyebrows, just so she could "try out new eyebrow shapes."

Psst, she didn’t, it was all some trickery.

13. Gisela Villa, a 17-year-old girl who gave her father the most beautiful makeover ever.

14. High school senior Sarah, who won homecoming whilst dressed in a dinosaur costume. YESSSSSS.

15. Eighteen-year-old Sarah Kulevich, makes tiny pancakes for her chickens. Tiny. Pancakes. Can you even believe?

16. Then there’s 19-year-old Daniel, who uses a rather unorthodox method to save money. He keeps a picture of Terry Crews in his wallet, which REMINDS HIM TO STOP SPENDING MONEY ON FRIVOLOUS THINGS.

17. These amazing teens, who expressed their love for fallen angel gorilla Harambe in their high school yearbook photo.

18. This girl, who made the most beautifully extra prom entrance of all time. OF ALL TIME. You are seriously goals.

19. And poor Shayla Wiggins, who found a dead body while playing Pokemon Go. OOF.


Why confusing food labels could soon be a thing of the past

The nation's food industry announced plans to cut through the food label confusion with easier to understand language —and it will soon be coming to a grocery store near you.

Nightly News Why Confusing Food Labels Could Soon Be a Thing of the Past


Why old-school phones are making a comeback

Last week, an Indian government official announced that iPhones will start rolling off an assembly line in Bangalore by the end of April, targeted at local customers. It's a big moment for Apple Inc., which is counting on India's emerging middle class to make up for slowing sales in other markets. But don't bet on the iPhone conquering India, or any other emerging market, just yet.

That's because smartphones of all kinds are facing stiff competition from an unlikely new challenger: feature phones. With simple handsets and small screens intended mostly for calls and text messages -- similar to the Nokia or Motorola you probably owned years ago -- a new generation of feature phones is suddenly looking like a threat to Apple and its rivals.

For a technology long ago left for dead, feature phones have lately made some impressive gains. After years of almost continuous decline, global shipments have grown for two consecutive quarters. Growth in emerging markets has been especially impressive: In Africa, feature-phone shipments surged 32 percent year-over-year in the second quarter of 2016, compared to a decline of 5.2 percent for smartphones. Expect that trend to continue, for a few reasons.

One obvious advantage is price. At the end of 2016, the average global price of a smartphone was $256, compared to $19.30 for a feature phone. In emerging markets, where even educated urbanites typically earn less than $10,000 a year (in India, they average $5,385), that doesn't leave much in the way of consumer choice. But even if a buyer has $256 to spare, the booming secondhand market offers far better options than a smartphone. In Ghana, where I recently spent a few weeks, $256 will buy a used Pentium III desktop computer, a flat-screen monitor, a satellite dish and a decoder box to pirate satellite television broadcasts.

Another factor is battery life. In many emerging markets, where electricity service can be intermittent, smartphones that have to be recharged each day can't compete against feature phones that can now go for weeks on a single charge. In West Africa, it's the rare smartphone owner who doesn't also carry a feature phone as a hedge against missing calls and messages due to battery depletion. Equally important, most emerging-market customers prepay for voice and data, making smartphones that passively eat up bandwidth a major inconvenience.

Feature-phone makers are also coming up with innovative hardware and services. Chinese-owned iTel has introduced a speech-to-text system that might appeal to hundreds of millions of illiterate or visually impaired buyers with low incomes. India's Zync just introduced six new feature phones with multiple SIM card slots, so customers can take advantage of lower rates when calling phones on the same carrier, or use separate lines for personal and business matters. Reliance Jio Infocomm is said to have a feature phone in the works that enables free calls over LTE networks, much as Skype does, for less than $20.

The most important innovation, though, has been the development of mobile-payment systems that require nothing more than text-messaging. A user simply buys credit at a bank or service center, then transfers the money via text to friends or merchants. For the roughly 2 billion people around the world who lack access to basic financial services, that can be a life-changing service. Kenya's M-Pesa, which enables money transfers via SMS, has about 19 million users who exchange more than $140 million daily. In India, the government is fast-tracking such services as a remedy to its demonetization crisis.

For smartphone makers, all this spells trouble. Some analysts in India are predicting a slump in smartphone sales and upgrades this year. Leading feature-phone brands have even started introducing cheap smartphones of their own, hoping to convert their considerable market share and brand recognition into upgrades. It's likely that the next major advance in mobile technology won't be dictated by designers in Silicon Valley or Seoul -- but rather by the needs of emerging-market consumers. In that sense, at least, old-school feature phones are starting to look very much like the future.

Smartphones Have an Unexpected New Rival

In emerging markets, the humble feature phone is surging.


Caption This: Kim Kardashian Checking Her Makeup


Topical Family Life Topical Articles list Our hearts are broken at this photo of a toddler standing on the toilet 5 1 Just devastating. What at first just looks like a toddler playing around mischievously in the bathroom is actually an incredibly poignant image of innocence lost. Mum Stacey Wehrman-Feeley snapped a picture of her three-year old daughter standing on the toilet as she thought it was funny, and wanted to show her husband their daughter’s antics. However, when she found out the real reason her daughter was perched on the seat of the toilet, she was devastated. "The moment she told me what she was doing I broke down," wrote Stacey. She was practicing for a lockdown drill at her preschool and what you should do if you are stuck in a bathroom. At that moment all innocence of what I thought my three-year-old possessed was gone." What she is referring to of course is the danger of gun shootings in schools, cinemas, universities, and more recently, nightclubs. News Feed app-facebook Stacey Wehrman Feeley last Wednesday . . I took this picture because initially I thought it was funny. I was going to send it to my husband to show what our mischievous little three-year-old was up to. However, The moment she told me what she was doing I broke down. She was practicing for a lockdown drill at her preschool and what you should do if you are stuck in a bathroom. At that moment all innocense of what I thought my three-year-old possessed was gone. Politicians - take a look. This is your child, you ... r children, your grandchildren, your great grand children and future generations to come. They will live their lives and grow up in this world based on your decisions. They are barely 3 and they will hide in bathroom stalls standing on top of toilet seats. I do not know what will be harder for them? Trying to remain quiet for an extended amount of time or trying to keep their balance without letting a foot slip below the stall door? No one thinks gun control will be 100% crime control. But maybe, just maybe, it helps 1% or 2% or 50%? Who knows unless we try? Why on earth are there not universal background checks? Where is a universal registration database? Why are high capacity magazines ever permitted to be sold to anyone other than direct to the military? Is that really necessary to protect yourself or hunt for that matter? What about smart guns, where are they? C’mon techies! The 2nd Amendment is a beast to battle and wiping out the right to bear arms is not on the table. Does anyone really think that will be accomplished? Because it won’t. Amended to some extent? Maybe. But how many decades will that take? Where’s the evolution of our so called "living document" for this subject matter? A document that originally allowed slavery and prevented women from voting? NRA, are you even trying? Let’s talk mental health. Where is the $500 million that the Obama administration put into the budget for approval...did it go through? Is it being implemented or just sitting there? Where is the access to care for those struggling with mental illness? Politicians, I ask you...how can I help? Banning together, signing petitions, rallying to get your voice heard is good, but is it actually doing anything or just making us feel better about the current situation? We need action. I applaud politicians like Senator Chris Murphy but so many of our elected politicians can’t manage to work together (maybe they shouldn’t be paid for a job they can't do...just saying) or since they are in bed with all the wrong people, it is up to us if we want change. I want to know what new smart technology is being built for safer guns, advanced security in public places, databases, traveling care for the mentally ill...anything! Entrepreneurs, innovators, are you there? Can I help? Can I help you make a difference? I want to offer support. I cannot give you techie advice, expertise in healthcare, or financial backing, BUT maybe I can point you in the right direction? Maybe I know someone who knows someone who can help? Incubators, investors...if this issue concerns you, do what you do best and help make change. Can I help? Hold funding competitions, provide think tanks for these very things. Hollywood, the PSA’s are good, but not good enough. Eventually they disappear and are forgotten. I am not pretending to have all the answers or even a shred of them, but unless you want your children standing on top of a toilet, we need to do something! As a US mum, Stacey used the image as an emotive part of an open letter to her government and the National Rifle Association (NRA), pleading for a change, for gun control, for better mental health services – for something that will stop the need to school three-year old’s on what to do if a shooter enters their school. "Politicians – take a look," she wrote. "This is your child, your children, your grandchildren, your great grandchildren and future generations to come. They will live their lives and grow up in this world based on your decisions. They are barely 3 and they will hide in bathroom stalls standing on top of toilet seats. I do not know what will be harder for them? Trying to remain quiet for an extended amount of time or trying to keep their balance without letting a foot slip below the stall door?" In her post Stacey admits she doesn’t claim to know what the answer is to the problem, but she wants people to try something new – to feel as passionate as she does to sit up and make this issue a priority. "No one thinks gun control will be 100% crime control. But maybe, just maybe, it helps 1% or 2% or 50%? Who knows unless we try? Why on earth are there not universal background checks? Where is a universal registration database? Why are high capacity magazines ever permitted to be sold to anyone other than direct to the military? Is that really necessary to protect yourself or hunt for that matter? What about smart guns, where are they? C’mon techies! "Where is the $500 million that the Obama administration put into the budget for approval...did it go through? Is it being implemented or just sitting there? Where is the access to care for those struggling with mental illness? Politicians, I ask you...how can I help?" Many mums in America echo Stacey’s worries, and a movement, previously called One Million Moms for Gun Control, renamed as Moms Demand Action , is showing he power of a collective voice of mothers who want to protect their children. Set up by mum Shannon Watts, the movement went from hundreds of followers to some 3.5 million, all committed to fighting the NRA on its gun policies. As mums, the image of Stacey’s child standing on that toilet squeezes our hearts. We can only imagine her fear and the fear of millions of mums across the US – and we hope change happens for these families, and soon.

Our hearts are broken at this photo of a toddler standing on the...


Not many royals are hip enough to jump on the social media bandwagon. Thankfully, Queen Rania of Jordan has now officially joined the cool club -- she's gotten an Instagram account.

In her bio, the stylish queen describes herself as "A mum and a wife with a really cool day job... " (No kidding.) Her posts range from sweet moments with her kids to her charity work to #TBTs of her hubby, King Abdullah II of Jordan. It's the kind of relatively unguarded glimpse into a royal's "real" life that only social media can give us.

We're keeping our fingers crossed that there are filtered Rania selfies on the way, but check out some of her first few personal snaps below.

Queen Rania Of Jordan Has An Instagram Account -- How Cool Is That?

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This Man Gave The World Butter Chicken, Dal Makhni & Tandoori Dishes, Yet Nobody Knows Him

Agree or not, the two things that remain consistent while ordering Indian food are dal makhani and butter chicken. You probably don't know but these two delicacies were invented by the same man.

Meet Kundan Lal Gujral, the one who introduced the world to dal makhani, butter chicken and the revolutionary tandoori cuisine.

The place where he housed his inventions was Moti Mahal, Daryaganj which has now levelled up, becoming a chain of restaurants serving his mouth-watering dishes all across the world.

Gujral moved to Delhi in the 1950s after the partition and opened Moti Mahal in Daryaganj with an intention to serve his tandoori cuisine. His ideas emerged out of necessity when bits and pieces of tandoori chicken were drying out in open and he needed a sauce to rehydrate them, and that is how butter chicken came into existence. After this successful invention, he looked for its vegetarian counterpart and came up with dal makhani.

From Pandit Jawahar Lal Nehru, Indira Gandhi and Zakir Hussain to world leaders like Bhutto, former American President Nixon, Kennedy and the Shah of Iran, Gujral has served his innovations to the world in the form of various tandoor delicacies.

His grandson, Monish Gujral now runs the Moti Mahal empire and continues to serve these creamy dishes to the world.

It is one of the first restaurants which served the Punjabi cuisine to the world.

When it comes to food all dishes evolve with time, however, there are some like dal makhani and butter chicken which should be better left undisturbed.

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https://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-kHc8ja1mP4cMt.gif?labels=Author.Divya Chauhan.This Man Gave The World Butter Chicken Dal Makhni  Tandoori Dishes Yet Nobody Knows Him,food.history.reads

Kundan Lal Gujral. There are literally photos of him with two Prime Ministers and other famous personalities in this article, he was pretty famous. #StopClickBait


See how Banksy responded when an elementary school named a building after him.

When the kids at this quiet elementary school in England were tasked with renaming their buildings, they never thought it would bring them international attention.

For the students of Bridge Farm Primary School, their mission was to rename several of the school's houses after notable people associated with the city of Bristol. The kids, ages 5 to 11, suggested names and voted for their favorites.

Named "houses" are an important part of the British school system. Yes, like in Harry Potter. Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images.

Among the winners were "Cabot," after Banksy ," after the infamous, as-yet-unidentified street artist who got Among the winners were "Cabot," after John Cabot , the 15th century explorer; "Blackbeard," after the pirate ; and "," after the infamous, as-yet-unidentified street artist who got his start in the Bristol underground art scene.

Banksy is one of the most well-known artists of our time. Sort of.

A legend of the street art movement, Banksy's iconic stencil work and provocative installations have appeared A legend of the street art movement, Banksy's iconic stencil work and provocative installations have appeared all over the world, sparking controversy, debate, discussion, and intrigue — not to mention millions of dollars at art auctions.

Yet despite how recognizable his artwork is, little is known about the artist. He's managed to keep his identity secret all this time and simply pops up in the middle of the night, leaving deceptively simple, thought-provoking artwork in his wake — and never revealing where in the world he'll show up next.

So you can imagine how surprised these kids were to find a brand-new Banksy piece on the wall of their school building when they returned from holiday break.

That's right. Banksy had come to the school and painted a 14-foot mural to thank the kids.

The painting is of a child rolling a hoop on a field containing a single flower — a reference to a Victorian-era The painting is of a child rolling a hoop on a field containing a single flower — a reference to a Victorian-era game for schoolchildren. Only, as you can see, the hoop has been replaced with a burning tire. It's typical Banksy — dark and edgy, but also playful.

Banksy also left a note for the kids, thanking them and encouraging them to add to the mural if they "don't like it."

Although, frankly, there's a very small chance any of them won't like it.

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"Dear Bridge Farm School," Banksy's letter reads . "Thanks for your letter and naming a house after me. Please have a picture, and if you don’t like it, feel free to add stuff. I’m sure the teachers won’t mind. Remember, it’s always easier to get forgiveness than permission. Much love, Banksy."

I have to say, it's pretty nice to see Banksy's sweet side.

After all, he's an elusive artist whose work is often dark, politically charged, and, by its very nature, After all, he's an elusive artist whose work is often dark, politically charged, and, by its very nature, illegal . That said, he remains an important and iconic voice in the art world.

But once, he was just a kid from Bristol.

Clearly, he hasn't forgotten that, so it's awesome to see him give back (in some small way) to that community — and encouraging kids to be creative in their own way is a message we can all get behind.

Students at a primary school in Bristol, England, named one of their buildings after a hometown hero. Then he came by to say thank you.

painted a mural on the side of the building


Queen shows us the one color you need to wear for fall

Leave it to Queen Maxima to actually make a pension awareness event interesting. The stylish royal did exactly that on Tuesday, wearing a single-color outfit that was anything but boring.

The queen's monochromatic look worked within the oxblood color family, a trendy staple for fall. Maxima mixed and matched shades of plum, maroon and burgundy, proving once and for all that a one-color look doesn't have to be boring. (Ahem, take notes, Princess Charlene.) Take inspiration for your own autumn wardrobe below.

Proof Queen Maxima Can Make Literally Any Event Stylish (PHOTOS)

Leave it to Queen Maxima to actually make a pension awareness event int...

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Jaden Smith Dead: Viral CNN Video Finally Confirms Suicide?

Jaden Smith dead again! Internet has once again gone crazy, saying that the 18-year-old actor is dead.

committed suicide. There are a host of reports doing the rounds that Jaden Smith reportedly committed suicide. It has been reported that the teen son of Will and Jade Pinkett Smith. There are a host of reports doing the rounds that Jaden Smith reportedly committed suicide.

The teen actor allegedly committed suicide in July 2016. It appears that Jaden took his own life after Angeline Jolie’s rumored suicide in August.

video in which he announced that he was going to kill himself. Later he said goodbye to his dad Will Smith in the alleged video. Jaden Smith reportedly made a suicidein which he announced that he was going to kill himself. Later he said goodbye to his dad in the alleged video.

The teen allegedly committed suicide when pictures of his girlfriend Sarah Snyder, 21, surfaced with her in bed with another guy. It was said that Jade thought that Sarah was cheating on him. The tweet picture was thought to be real by fans, but it was deleted later which added more weight to the suicide rumors of Jaden Smith.

Fans freak out over Jaden Smith alleged suicide

However, the news appears to have come from CNN, Snopes.com reports. As soon as the video went viral, thanks to the Internet and social media, the star’s fans were taken for a ride with the false news and believed that the actor had died rather committed suicide.

But, if we go a little deeper into the incident, the news was not true, and did not come from a legitimate source. In fact, users who clicked on the alleged CNN link were greeted with a popup message requesting permission from a Facebook app to post on their behalf, Mirror UK reports.

It was a death hoax and an outright scam, a cruel prank. The messages of Jaden Smith’s alleged suicide were shared from various sites, which led to several dubious Facebook apps, including "Smart Mobiles," "Gadgy Land," "Pakiza," "Top Feeds" and several others.

The 18-year-old celebrity kid is not the first to be killed by the Internet though. But, Jaden Smith is the youngest celeb to be shot dead by social media, time and again.

Jaden Smith is however is alive and in good health. He has not commented or reacted to the death rumors that don’t seem to die down anytime soon. The actor’s latest tweet shows his girlfriend.

Internet still does not seem to have enough of celebrities like Jaden Smith, Angelina Jolie, Sylvester Stallone and Miley Cyrus. Celebrity suicide hoaxes is currently in trend among hackers to create a frenzy among fans and make the news viral.

For the latest ‘Jaden Smith’ News please stay tuned in to this site.

Jaden Smith dead again! Internet has once again gone crazy saying that the 18-year-old actor is dead.

Jaden Smith, Jaden Smith Dead, Jaden Smith Suicide, Death Hoax


Megan Fox Wants To Play Kitana In New Mortal Kombat Film For The Weirdest Reason

Megan Fox is a well known pop culture face. Not because she’s starred in her own comics or is part of a popular video game, but it’s because she’s played key roles in popular movies such as Transformers and Teenage Mutants Ninja Turtles.

She’s all set to return this summer as April O’Neil in the upcoming Turtles movie titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows. However, Megan isn’t planning to rest and wants to further grow her fan following as she’s looking forward to playing more popular characters, and this time she wants to fill in the boots of a popular fighting game character.

She revealed during an interview with Cinepop when asked if she wanted to play any superhero in a movie, that although she has no idea about a superhero but she’s really keen to play the role of Kitana, the badass hottie from the Mortal Kombat series.

I’ve been getting this question a lot and I should think about it more because I keep drawing a blank. I don’t have a specific superhero that I think I should play. I’m sorry I don’t have a better answer for you I don’t know.

As you all know Kitana isn’t a hero in the series but plays the role of an antagonist. She’s a badass that shows no mercy to her enemies, and is the daughter of Sindel and Shao Khan (adopted).

I thought of Kitana from Mortal Kombat if they ever make that movie again. I’ve always loved her fans and the blades, um, but that’s the only one I could think of.

That’s it, she wants to play the role because, um, she kind of likes the blades. To each their own I guess, but I’ve seen better reasons given by celebs for reprising the roles of fictional pop culture icons in the past. Let’s just leave it at that.

There are whispers that a new Mortal Kombat movie is actually in development and might be helmed by James Wan, who’s directed Fast and Furious 7 among other films. The last Mortal Kombat movie released way back in 1997 and was titled Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.

The film met with a moderate reception and under performed since the original Mortal Kombat movie raked in more revenue at the box office, which is one of the reasons why the series has been in hibernation for so long.

Would you like Megan Fox to play the role of Kitana in the upcoming Mortal Kombat movie?

Megan Fox wants to play Kitana and the reason is plain weird.

Because she "kind of" likes her weapons. #StopClickBait


John Carpenter's The Thing Monster Has Been Hiding a Secret in Plain Sight This Whole Time

John Carpenter‘s remake of The Thing is one of the best sci-fi horror films ever made. It has a simple story, an isolated setting, incredible, grotesque practical effects and endless suspense. It’s been watched and rewatched countless times since it hit theaters in 1982, however, there may be one secret of the film that you’ve never noticed before, and it involves the shape-shifting identity of the mysterious monster at the center of the story.

The suspense and tension in The Thing comes from the fact that the titular monster can imitate anyone it comes into contact with almost flawlessly, allowing it to lure in more victims. But if you look into the eyes of any of the characters, you can determine whether or not they are truly human. Find out this interesting tidbit about The Thing monster after the jump.

If you’re wondering why this is coming up now instead of 34 years ago, cinematographer Dean Cundey has been making the publicity rounds to promote a new 2K Blu-ray release of the movie coming from Scream Factory next month. On that release will be a new commentary with the director of photography moderated by Blumhouse blog writer Rob Galuzzo, who just revealed this new detail about the movie that doesn’t appear to be widely known.

During the commentary, Galuzzo asked if there were any subtle cues in the cinematography that revealed anything about The Thing to the audience. Cundey explained that he and Carpenter wanted to figure out some kind of way to hint which of the characters were still human. He says, "You’ll notice there’s always an eye light, we call it, a little gleam in the eye of the actor. It gives life."

Now watch the end of the movie and see if you can determine whether the last men standing are both human:

The Thing gets the new Blu-ray on October 11th.

Even though the move is 34 years old, a secret about John Carpenter's The Thing monster has just been revealed that may change the way you watch the movie.

The "humans" had light reflection in their eyes, the "Thing" did not.


The one fall essential every man should own

Guys, we get it. Going shopping and dropping a wad of cash on a new wardrobe is less than appealing. But come fall, there are definitely a few items that need updating -- namely your footwear. Instead of buying a cheap pair of boots that will fall apart after one season, why not invest in a pair that you can wear for decades? Just think, you won't have to set foot in a mall this time next year.

We teamed up with Brooklyn Boot Company, a new label on Kickstarter that creates American-made boots and sells them for a fraction of the cost (by selling direct-to-consumer instead of through retailers), to show just how versatile good quality boots can be.

Whether you're going to the office, headed out to dinner or just hanging around on the weekend, the right pair of boots will work in any life situation.

The One Fall Essential Every Man Should Own

Guys, we get it. Going shopping and dropping a wad of cash on a new wardrobe is less than appealing. But come fall, there are definitely a few items that...

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With that hair (and those bright red lips), could you blame us for checking out Millana Snow? The Serene Social founder told us that her big curly hairdo was actually impromptu. "I had my hair straight until yesterday, but then decided to go natural," she said.

Snow recently discovered Every Strand hair care products, and she is a fan of their deep conditioning hair oil. She added, "It's at a decent price point, too!" Organic beauty products that make up her regimen include EvanHealy Cleanser and Facial Serum and Pangea Organics Mist. But Snow claims that "the secret to it all" is lemons.

"Drink it in the morning. [Take] hot water (as if you were making a tea) and squeeze in half a lemon. It's great for your digestive system and your energy. You can also use lemon juice on your skin to tone and brighten." The health and beauty benefits of this sour yellow fruit just keep getting sweeter!

Millana Snow, Founder of Serene Social, On How Lemons Make You Beautiful From The Inside Out

With that hair (and those bright red lips ...

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Hot water with lemon juice; or just rub the lemon juice on your skin


New Zealand's most complained about company revealed

The Commission released its 2016 Consumer Issues Paper which showed a quarter of all complaints to the organisation were about just 21 companies with pricing the most common issue.

Spark received the most complaints with 140, followed by Vodafone with 133 and then sellers on Trade Me with 121.

Commission chairman Mark Berry said the report, now in its second year of being publicly released, highlighted some interesting trends but stressed that complaints did not necessarily mean companies had broken the law, adding that larger traders were more likely to receive complaints.

"Consumers complain to the Commission most about price (26 per cent), goods (23 per cent) and services (22 per cent), while one quarter of our Fair Trading Act complaints relate to just 21 traders," Berry said.

Both Spark and Vodafone were quick to respond to the report, saying the result was disappointing.

Vodafone's Liesbeth Koomen said while the company aimed to provide a great service experience, it sometimes fell short and received complaints. Spark's Jason Paris said the Commission had reported the total number of complaints regardless of whether the complaints were upheld and said ultimately none of the complaints about Spark had been taken forward.

"We're disappointed in today's Commerce Commission league table of 2015 complaints, as we're working very hard to improve our customer experience," Paris said. "Improving customer service is our top priority and we have seen noticeable improvements recently. Where complaints identified areas where we could improve its processes, these changes have been made."

Non-bank lenders also featured prominently in this years report with complaints about non-disclosure, irresponsible lending and targeting of vulnerable consumers. While finance companies make up just 3 per cent of the credit market they account for 43 per cent of credit-related complaints to the Commission.

Berry said the report was produced primarily as an internal tool for the Commission to help it decide where to focus its efforts, but said it believed the information was also beneficial to others.

"We choose to share the report publicly as we believe the information is of wider interest and benefit to consumers, traders, advocates and community groups. We are grateful to all the organisations that have contributed to making this report such a valuable resource," Berry said.

• the New Zealand Business Funding Centre - 68 complaints

• Auckland Academy of Learning - 67 complaints

• Progressive Enterprises - 48 complaints

Telcos Spark and Vodafone have topped the list as the most complained about companies according to the Commerce Commission.   The Commission released its 2016 Consumer Issues Paper - New Zealand Herald

business, telecommunications, consumer information, commerce commission


Hailey Baldwin Looks Like She's Wearing a Simple Swimsuit — Until You Spot This Little Detail

Sadly, the Summer — along with its beach, pool, and sun-filled days — is coming to a close. But while many are making the most out of their favorite swimsuits, celebrities are still breaking out brand-new options. Take Hailey Baldwin, for instance, who 'grammed a pic of a green one-piece while celebrating her pal Kylie Jenner's 19th birthday . At first glance, the sleek, high-cut Zigilane design looks pretty sexy — in a simple way. But a quick look at the side and you'll spot a few statement-making cutouts, taking Hailey's beachside look to the next level. Take another look at the It model's suit ahead, then shop some similar options before Fall rolls on in.

Hailey Baldwin's Green Cutout Swimsuit August 2016

Small Cutouts On The Sides, Which Apparently No Longer Make It A 'Simple' Swimsuit [Pop Sugar]


These 18 big websites fail the space-bar scrolling test

You know this tip, don’t you? When you tap the Space bar, the web page you’re reading scrolls up exactly one screenful.

That’s so much quicker and more precise than trying to use the mouse or the trackpad. When you’ve read to the bottom of the screen, hit Space to scroll. (Press Shift-space to scroll back up.) Works in every browser, on every site.

For this tip to be useful, of course, the amount of scrolling is important. The last line you’ve read (at the bottom of the page) should jump up to become the top line of the new screen. Like this:

(If you prefer, you can use the Page Down key to do the same thing. One tap, one screenful.)

But in recent years, something clumsy and unfortunate has happened: Web designers have begun slapping toolbars or navigation bars at the top of the page. That’s fine—except when it throws off the Space-bar scrolling! Which, most of the time, it does.

Suddenly, tapping Space doesn’t scroll the right amount. The lines you were supposed to read next scroll too high; they’re now cut off. Now you have to use your mouse or keyboard to scroll back down again. Which defeats the entire purpose of the Space-bar tip.

Here’ what it looks like on one of these broken sites:

Over the last few months, I’ve begun keeping track of which sites do Space-bar scrolling right—and which are broken. I want to draw the public’s attention to this bit of broken code, and maybe inspire the world’s webmasters to get with the program. It can’t be a complicated fix—but for something that millions of people do billions of times a day, it seems as though it’d be effort well worth expending.

So here it is: The world’s first Space-Bar Scrolling Report Card for the biggest reading sites of the internet.

The New York Times, CBS News, BBC, The Washington Post, LA Times, Mashable

The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, The New Yorker, Variety, Slate, Yahoo (parent company of Yahoo Finance)

Here’s what I propose: We, the people, should spread the word of the space-bar trick, because it’s precise, it saves time, and it makes for easier, more continuous reading. And uninterrupted reading = better understanding.

They, the web programmers, should get their act together so that the scroll works as it’s supposed to.

(And if you work for one of those sites, and you manage to get the scrolling-bug fixed, email me so I can update this article and congratulate you.)

Thank you. This has been a public-service message.

The Wall Street Journal
USA Today
The New Yorker
Variety
Slate


The surprising way Neanderthals got herpes

Neanderthals were much like us. Their brains were as large as ours, and they carried a lot of the same DNA we do.

We were so alike, in fact, that when modern humans came face-to-face with Neanderthal groups in Europe and Asia, the two species interbred. We see evidence of this in all modern-day Europeans and Asians.

Combing through their DNA and comparing it to ours has already revealed that several disease-causing genes we carry today came from the Neanderthals via these inter-species romps.

But a new study proposes that disease transmission went the other way too. When modern humans met Neanderthals in Europe, we may have given groups of Neanderthals several harmful pathogens.

 Humans possibly gave Neanderthals genital herpes (Credit: Zoonar GmbH/Alamy Stock Photo)

These could have included the herpes simplex 2 virus, which causes genital herpes, and Helicobacter pylori, a bacterium that causes stomach ulcers. We may even have given Neanderthals tuberculosis and tapeworms.

" These diseases would not have killed Neanderthals quickly

Charlotte Houldcroft of the University of Cambridge and her colleague Simon Underdown from Oxford Brookes University, both in the UK, came to these conclusions after considering the fact that some of the most common Neanderthal DNA carried by living people has a role in fighting diseases. This suggests dealing with pathogens was an important fact of life in the Stone Age when the two species met.

They also looked at the genetic family trees of several pathogens, to establish when they first infected modern humans.

Many were initially thought to have spread from animals to humans in the last 8,000 years, after the dawn of agriculture. But it is now becoming clear that a number of human diseases were around thousands of years earlier.

That means they would have been carried by modern humans travelling out of Africa when they met Neanderthals, and might have passed between the two species.

 Neanderthals and modern humans interbred more than once (Credit: Trustees of NHM)

These diseases would not have killed Neanderthals quickly, says Houldcroft. "It would have been a slow progression into slightly worse health than they had before."

" I don't think we'll ever find a single theory of what killed the Neanderthals

People today do not usually die from these ancient diseases – they only have a small impact on our general health. However, Neanderthals were facing other challenges when these diseases arrived on their doorstep.

Genetic evidence suggests their numbers were already low about 50,000 years ago . Adding some unwelcome pathogens to the mix would have put additional strains on the hunting and foraging ability of Neanderthal groups, each of which probably included between 15 and 30 individuals.

If any one group was wiped out, it would have been devastating for the Neanderthal population as a whole.

This influx of diseases, if it really happened, could provide another piece of an enduring puzzle: why our cousins went extinct while we thrived.

"I don't think we'll ever find a [single] theory of what killed the Neanderthals, but there is increasing evidence that lots of things happened over a period of a few thousand years that cumulatively killed off the Neanderthals," says Houldcroft.

 Some of the last Neanderthals lived in caves in Gibraltar (Credit: Melissa Hogenboom)

"Our hypothesis is basically that each band of Neanderthals had its own personal disaster and over time you lose more and more groups. This is just one of many factors," she says.

" We are able to reconstruct the challenges faced by our ancestors 40,000 years ago

Climate change may also have been a factor. It led to a dramatic reduction of the forested environment Neanderthals were used to, resulting in less food for them to hunt and gather.

While the Neanderthal genome does not show traces of modern human diseases, we might soon be able to infer their presence by looking for signs that gene variants known to be resistant to the pathogens were widespread in Neanderthal populations.

"We get a record of natural selection by looking at what genes are present and what genes are missing," says Underdown. "We are able to reconstruct the challenges faced by our ancestors 40,000 years ago, essentially using the genetic record to reconstruct their daily life."

A second new study is currently on the pre-print server bioRxiv and has not yet undergone peer review. It might explain why Neanderthals fared worse when exposed to diseases that modern humans had successfully survived for a long time.

 Neanderthals were not that different from us (Credit: Natural History Museum/Alamy)

This latest analysis shows that Neanderthals had extremely low genetic diversity in many genes important for disease resistance. Neanderthals all had pretty much the same variants of each of these genes.

Modern humans, on the other hand, show much more diversity. This means that, when faced with foreign diseases, Neanderthals had a weaker defence mechanism.

" When populations have been separated for some time their diseases evolve separately as well

In other words, although there may have been a two-way exchange of diseases when modern humans and Neanderthals met, the modern humans would have been better able to deal with new infections than Neanderthals were.

George Perry of Pennsylvania State University in the US is co-author of this latest study. He says that, taken together, these analyses emphasise the important role the transmission of diseases has played in our evolution.

"When populations have been separated for some time, their diseases evolve separately as well," says Perry. "So when the populations come together and potentially exchange those diseases, there could be some effect on one or both populations."

Unfortunately for Neanderthals, it just so happens that we had a better genetic toolkit for dealing with that situation than they did.

As modern humans travelled into Europe and met Neanderthals, we may have given them diseases that contributed to their downfall

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The "Wrecking Ball" singer, who has received plenty of media attention throughout 2013 for her revealing outfits, tweeted a post-shower selfie that shows less skin than many of her performance outfits have lately.

Makeup-free and wrapped in a towel, the star posed for the shot with her signature tongue-out pose.

Miley Cyrus is covering up ... kind of.

The "Wrecking Ball" singer, who has received plenty of media attention throughout 2013 for her revealing outfi...

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The boys last words were: "Santa, can you help me?"

This Santa wasn’t ready for this role. A terminally ill child died in his arms.

Eric Schmitt-Matzen, a Knoxville, Tennessee, man who is professionally trained to portray Santa Claus, recently granted the final wish of a terminally ill child who wanted to see Santa. According to the Knoxville News Sentinel, Schmitt-Matzen was called to the hospital to visit a five-year-old boy nearing his death.

He entered the room with a toy and recalled the following back-and-forth exchange.

'They say I'm gonna die,' he told me. 'How can I tell when I get to where I'm going?'

I said, 'Can you do me a big favor?' He said, 'Sure!'

When you get there, you tell 'em you're Santa's Number One elf, and I know they'll let you in. He said, 'They will?' I said, 'Sure!'

He kinda sat up and gave me a big hug and asked one more question: 'Santa, can you help me?' I wrapped my arms around him. Before I could say anything, he died right there. I let him stay, just kept hugging and holding on to him.

Heartbreaking: Terminally Ill Boy Dies in Santa's Arms  Insider

A Knoxville, Tenn., Santa Claus had a heartbreaking experience as a terminally ill child died in his arms.


WATCH What This West Point Cadet Was Caught Doing on Her Cell Phone During Graduation March! ⋆...

This is embarrassing. No discipline and respect. Ever since Barack Obama has been in office..All respect has gone out the window. Where is the Pride? Why were they even allowed to have their phones with them during formation? There is no respect for the uniform at all anymore. It’s truly sad to see what’s happened to our military.

What’s happen to this country is truly pathetic...and sad that we allowed it to happen.

A West Point cadet was caught using her smartphone during a march to the military academy’s graduation ceremony on Saturday.

A video shared to West Point’s Facebook page shows hundreds of cadets marching in step to Michie Stadium for the 218th United States Military Academy Graduation and Commissioning Ceremony.

At about the 50-second mark, a female cadet is clearly seen looking down at her phone as she marches. She doesn’t even look up from the device while she is on-screen.

It is unclear what the cadet was doing on her phone, but the incident is attracting criticism on social media from those who say she lacks discipline and respect.

WATCH What This West Point Cadet Was Caught Doing on Her Cell Phone During Graduation March! ⋆ Freedom Daily

It it unclear what the Cadet was doing on their phone. #StopClickBait